If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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