I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you inspire me to be a worse person
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
