My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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