I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
