sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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