no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Randomize
