im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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