I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
