Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
