How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
