so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
