5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
