What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
