these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize