you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
