the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
