i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
