Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
