I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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