I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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