last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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