Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
True strength comes from lack of pants
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
