Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
