I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
