You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
