My first STD was from a foam party
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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