i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
