Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
