I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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