piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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