You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
