How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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