I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
honey bunches of taint.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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