u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Life without a bra equals bliss.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
