Sry I called you an 8
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I intend to get homeless drunk
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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