Do you still have your period?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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