Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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