I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
