Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
