1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize