I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
That's intense
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
