Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
