I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
