If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
