They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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