Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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