So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
