Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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