Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
