I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
