I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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