quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
