i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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