I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
