Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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