She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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