i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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