i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
