They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
