I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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