By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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