found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize