I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
me + whiskey = a bad person
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
