mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
