My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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