Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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