Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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