Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
