Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
