she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just forgot I was standing up.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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