in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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