Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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