my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
