If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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