And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My life is pants optional.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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