That's intense
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
ttyl tear gas
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My feet surprised me
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
