i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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