you guys were way drunker than both of me
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
