i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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