Don't EVER smell your tampon
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Is Oprah even human
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
