it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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