Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
