im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
