even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
