"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
