fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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