I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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